I've had nothing yet, so I can't take more.

I was devistated yesterday. In building this fund for a castle, I had, perhaps permaturely, picked one out. I found out that this particular castle I had my eye on has received an offer on it. The market in the area is terribly slow. I asked how could this happen, why did they pick this one. Of course I realized they picked it most likely for the same reasons I fell in love with it. After some upset, I refocused myself. Everything happens for a reason. I have always wanted to live in a castle, not live in this particular one. There are others for sale. I had two others on my list, both are for sale. They get listed, they sell, there are others. This one, for what ever reason wasn't meant to be, it wasn't the right one.

We're All Mad Here

Absent I have been of late, distracted by the things of daily life. But I have brought myself back into focus. My birthday is this month. I am hoping that my friends, instead of gifts and cards, will support the castle fund. One dollar towards a castle is cheaper than a Hallmark, and no matter how many tears the lovley poems would bring to my eyes, supporting me in this means so much more in the long run.

I have been handing out the Dream Castle Cards to people who have donated. I am hoping to have some of them back soon to display the lovely art of the dream castles of others. Of course I realized that I had one teensy tiny spelling mistake that somehow was overlooked in my proofing. On the bright side, they will be pasted in the memory book, with the back side down and in time the spelling error will be a vague memory.

The sun has been out for three days in a row. That always seems to bring hope during these cold months. I can't wait for spring. A time for new beginnings, for things to blossom.

Well my friends, I shall endeavour to chronicle my journey more often, stay focused, and work my way dollar by dollar to my castle.

Let me see: four times five is twelve, and four times six is thirteen, and four times seven is -- oh dear!

One number. That is all it takes. One number. Someone said to me the other night "everybody's got to have a dream, but yours is bigger than most." It is still just one number. Of course that number is 4,999,620 . This same someone said I will never reach it. It is because 4,999,620 people think the same thing that I haven't. . . . yet. Everyone's got to have a dream.

The lottery is 43 million. I bought tickets today. No, not out of my castle fund. Fingers crossed.

Do you ever feel tired of hearing people telling you that "you can't." You can't have this, you can't have that, you can't have both, you can't, you can't, you can't. I am tired of it. I have heard it all my life. What if it never occured to you that "you can't." Imagine what you could have accomplished so far in life. Imagine what you could accomplish from this point forward.

My father said "good for you, and if you never reach 5 million to buy your castle, at least you will have money for therapy." He laughed. I laughed. But he still supported me. He didn't argue. He didn't say he wouldn't support me on principle. He is there for me, cheering me on all the way. Like those of my friends who not only dare to believe, but support me no matter what the dream.

Why is a raven like a writing desk?

Yesterday my Dream Castle Cards arrived. What are these things you call Dream Castle Cards you ask? The wonderful idea of Dream Castle Cards came about while brainstorming with Juju. I was trying to figure out how everyone could share in the dream. She was saying that it was too bad we couldn't make a sort of art project for people who gift towards it, like people drawing their dream castles and having some way to display them later. From there blossomed the idea of Dream Castle Cards.

Dream Castle Cards are essentially post cards with "draw your dream castle" on them. People who gift money to the castle fund can draw (or paint, or collage, or print and glue, be creative) their dream castle on a card and return it to me, inperson or by post, and I am going to put them all in a memory box or album (this may need to be plural).

When people come to stay at the castle hotel they can sit in the library, order a drink and look for their Castle Card or admire others wonderful works.

They arrived yesterday, it was with great anticipation that I opened the box. There was just one teensy problem. They upgraded me to glossy! Imagine being disapointed that you got a bonus upgrade. I can laugh at my initial thoughts now. I am sure they will be fine.

Each gift helps us get one step closer to our dream. We would love to have your dream Castle Card displayed in our memory book. Look for Dream Castle Cards soon on www.jenniferscastle.com

Speak roughly to your little boy.

Today my horoscope read: Try not to be too critical of someone who let you down recently. Be compassionate.

Yes, compassion. That wonderful humane quality of understanding the suffering of others and better yet, wanting to do something about it. Isn't that exactly why I have felt let down recently?

The skies have been so grey, with only brief moments of cheery sunlight. The snow if falling now and I suppose it has brought about one of the pity party days we all seem to suffer from at times.

Everyone has their own life, their own concerns, their own goals. But it never ceases to amaze me at how quickly people are on my door as soon as they need something, need support, need help, need a shoulder to cry on, need something from my closet, need things for their wedding, need advice, etc. I rarely ask for help, even at the inconvience of myself. This is my issue, one I am working on. But many these same people seem to laugh and disappear like faeries into the wood when I have stepped forward and asked for support in this dream of mine.

When out last night I ran into Johnny Uruguay, (we wish you all the best as you embark on your travels by the way). His advice was "Don't rely on anyone you think you can rely on. They won,t be there for you."

I only need 5 million people to each give me one dollar for this to work. Laugh if you want. Stranger things have happened. It's not that these friends won't give me a dollar. It is that I would just love for them to show support no matter what my dream is, no matter what my endeavour, without arguing on principle this or that. Just believe. Share in the dream. Live the dream.

I think I have finished my rant. Now to start to feel the compassion for their suffering and to get into the mindset that given a cape and a nice tiara, I could save the world.

Tut, tut, child! Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it.

That's nothing to what I could say if I chose.

Inspiration. Creativity. Muse. Vision. Whimsical. Vivid. Avant-garde. Conjure. Nuture. Spark. Nature. Ancient. Folklore. Ocean. Faery. Dream. Reverie. Lost. Flow. Ebb. Understand. Support. Love. Peace. Harmony. Castle. Wish. Believe. Hope. Cherish. Antique. Relic.

I've read that in some book, but I don't remember where.

"We cannot live fully without the treasury our ancestors have left to us" George Mackay Brown.

There was a large table under a tree . . . .

I am always amazed at the creativitiy of my friends. I suppose I naturally gravitate to people with some sort of flare. On quite a number of ocassions, I have heard many of them say soemthing along the line of "with all the talent we have there has to be something we could all do." We all dream about it and then the conversation drifts.

Anyway...One dear friend and I have decided to inspire each other on in a quest to achieve some such goal. This is wonderful, I am so excited to get back into a few things I should never have stopped doing, and each step will take me closer to my dream. But why stop there.

I put it to some of my friends today, that if they are serious and not just making conversation (Ouch! I know that was harsh, but some are very good at ideas and not so good on the follow through. You know who you are, smile and accept it, don't be mad at me Richard) that they should join in inspiring each other, networking, cross-promotion, etc. I asked that if they would be interested in some such endeavour, please let me know. This could be the beginning of something bigger than each of us alone. I know all to well that it is too easy to dream about it and hope it happens all on it's own. It would be lovely to actually do something about it.